Let me just begin this post by admitting that before moving to Bahrain a year ago I probably couldn’t point out any Middle Eastern countries on a map, and culturally I knew about as much as could be learned from the Sex in the City movie where they travel to Abu Dhabi. I knew it is so hot that sometimes planes can’t take off during the day and that living in Bahrain is “Hazardous duty” so my paycheck would be tax-free- SOLD.
When I announced news of my planned move to friends and family it was met by a variety of reactions, some were excited about the new adventure but many were worried and sympathetic as they feared for my safety as a single female in the Middle East. Major media paints a certain depiction of this part of the world and from my experience, it is not one that accurately mirrors reality… that is why I am writing this. I believe a paradigm shift in how we interact with the locals and fellow ex-pats can make living abroad in the Middle East an entirely more enriching experience and I hope to ease your transition by providing answers to some of the more fundamental questions.
Did you know?
The written language is read from right to left and uses “running letters” where most (not all) of the letters are connected, similar to cursive. However, most of the time only the top half of the letter is written. My Arabic teacher, Mr. Fifi explained it like this “When I look at my class I understand who they are by looking at the heads, I don’t need to see your legs to identify you.” Touché Mr. Fifi, touché. Unlike in English, letters have a very consistent sound, so once you are familiar with the alphabet you can basically read and write… this doesn’t mean you know what you’re saying but it does look nice .
ALSO, Arabic teens use a combination of letters and numbers when texting to represent the letters and sounds that aren’t accounted for in the English language. One day you will see this and it will make a whole lot more sense than it would have … “Assalaamu 3alaikum!”
Fun phrases to flex:
“As-salamu alaykum”: Peace be upon you (common greeting)
“Walaikum Salam”: And unto you, peace. (common response)
Many people will also say “Salam” as a slang way to say “Peace.”
“Ma salama”: goodbye (also peace) “Ismee Mikaela”: My name is Mikaela
“Ana men Amereka”: I am from America
“Shukran”: Thank You
“Inshallah”: literally meaning “If God wills it,” is one of my FAVORITE phrases that I have integrated into my everyday life. The way in which it is used changes between different cultures, some will use it very seriously but many people use it casually, maybe for something that may or may not be true. Some examples: “I will be on time, inshallah,” “Inshallah corona travel restrictions will be lifted soon,” and “There will be cute boys at the bar, inshallah.”
“Alhamdulillah”: Praise is to God/ Allah ( same.) Another personal fav of mine, this is something that I say anytime something just kind of works out. It usually elicits a bit of a smile from anyone who speaks Arabic and is also said after someone sneezes- similar to “God bless you.”
no-no “Laa laa laa”: No no no. No, they aren’t singing Christmas carols in mind July, “Laa” means “no!” Learning this in Arabic 101 gave me a huge “Ahaa” moment after overhearing it quite frequently in common speak. Eventually, for the pinnacle of my Arabic-speaking career, I used “Laa laa laa” to really piss off some gypsy donkey peddler at Petra who wouldn’t take “No thank you” for an answer. **does curtsey and tips hat**
“Habibi/ Habibti”: My love! I actually knew this one from a few Saudi pilots back in the flight school days. #notyourhabibi
Weekday shifts Thursday is the new Friday and Sunday is the new Monday. In Islam, Friday is considered to be the holy day that most Muslims will go to the mosque. Business hours of operation can be finicky, think Chick-fil-a on Sunday vibes. Paired with the time zone difference this can initially be kind of a mind trip; you will be done with your second working day when people start complaining of the Sunday scaries back home. It’s actually kind of nice as long as you aren’t trying to coordinate anything with the States.
Can I drink?
Among other Arabic nations, Bahrain is commonly referred to as “The Bar.” It is said that Allah cannot see into Bahrain, which is why it is flooded with debauchery from our Saudi neighbors every weekend. While alcohol prices on base will not be beaten, it is nice to know you can still catch a happy hour out in town. Initially, drinking was restricted to private residences and upscale hotels but these days you can also find stand-alone bars that serve in Adliya, and Amwaj. For more specifics on where to get a buzz see my post about Happy Hour.
What to wear
This is a tough question with a multitude of different answers but chances are the standards are more relaxed than you think. First and foremost, consider your location and the time of year.
Most areas that we tend to go have very relaxed standards: at the clubs, girls will live their best hoe life and at the beach, you are usually good to go in that itty bitty bikini. Amwaj is particularly liberal, there is no mosque on the island and its robust fitness culture doesn’t bat an eye to those wearing even the shortest spandex shorts and tightest tank tops. I’m not going to state my sources but confirmed cases of skinny dipping may or may not be a regular occurrence in Floating City- oh la la. Brunches, pool parties, Al Dar Island, dance clubs, hotel bars, and the British/Rugby clubs are all places you can socialize without concern for differing cultural norms. Adliya, mentioned above, has a mixture of quality restaurants and bars attracting a diverse crowd; some spots will be slightly more conservative while others (like McGettigans aka ForGettigans) will release your inner party girl. When everyone is showing out on a Friday night you will see the locals roll up with their flashy cars and traditional attire, they probably don’t care about you or the tiny dress you are still wearing from brunch that day - just carry on smartly and we can all live our best lives in harmony.
Occasionally you may need to venture outside of our happy little bubble to the outside world, and whether it's for a craft store, a local market, photo printing, or some other reason, I encourage you to take note of who comprises your surroundings and adapt appropriately. Will you get in trouble? No. Could it be uncomfortable? Yes. I keep a super light button up in my car just in case the need arises and I’ll normally wear a pair of flowy pants if I anticipate traveling to a more conservative neighborhood. Like anywhere, there is an entire spectrum of standards; I have personally found that areas with no other women and no other Westerners are usually the most traditional and these are the places I have received the most overt stares. At the end of the day, it is a respectful thing, we are visitors and it is polite to not make anyone else feel uncomfortable (you might get stared at regardless.) Note: these rules tighten up during Ramadan, please refer to my post on Dos and Don’ts for more specific details on how life changes during the holy month.
Traffic
Driving in Bahrain can be stressful, people are aggressive and careless; you may have the urge to give that guy with glaring lights the middle finger - don’t. Flipping the bird is a fineable offense and it's even higher if you do it towards a woman, see we are empowered! All the other driver has to do is report your license plate, so save yourself a court trip and opt for some aggressive cursing in lieu of the physical display. On the note of traffic, you probably don’t speed nearly enough to elicit energy from the Bahrain police but that doesn’t mean you’re off completely free, check your CPR info with the dinar man to see if you are the lucky winner of a red light or speed cam fine!
Recognize there is a spectrum of cultural norms
People from different countries within the Middle East have drastically different social standards. What causes people to act as they do is so intertwined with the politics, it would be impossible to cover here but all I’m saying is that it would behove you to realize Bahrain is a melting pot of nationalities and personalities even if they are all from within the same region. To give an example, my friends from Oman would fit flawlessly into a California lifestyle and Lebanese people are known for their love of partying. Bahrainis are usually very chill and if you’re thinking I’m wrong because of an encounter with some rude traditionally dressed man cutting in line…maybe he was from Saudi? Also some people are just dicks, regardless of culture.
Expats
Speaking of expats…before moving to Bahrain I assumed that being a white person with an allegiance to the great United States would be a bad thing. They don’t like us here, right? Well it turns out I was wrong … to an uncomfortable degree. It is kind of awkward to discuss but only a small fraction of the expats are Westerners here for the well paid jobs: military, teaching, engineering and flight attendant positions. A vast majority of people come from underdeveloped countries to fill positions in labor with minimal to no safety regulations and dismal living conditions. I knew an Indian man who had his PhD in engineering; he was going to give a presentation on findings from his work but the family who owned the company thought it best to have someone with blonde hair and blue eyes present instead and so he had to pass off the information to a coworker without any degree or experience in the field. I guess what I’m trying to say without saying is that white privilege is alive and well here, I had started this post out by wanting to open up your heart to some of the wonderful parts of Bahrain but in the pursuit of truth there is really no avoiding some of these dark corners.
However, in knowledge there is power and we can find more space to be understanding and empathetic to the plights of those around us. A huge turning point for me was when someone explained how the caste system is still at play to many of these Indian and Pakistani expats; while it is technically illegal, many people have been shunned or treated as less than for their entire life based on social status. This is where we step into the equation, smiling and offering greetings to everyone, as is typical in a Western culture…but all of a sudden people are following me and entering into my personal space- WHAT. THE. HECK? Well, well, well, because of cultural differences having a friendly disposition can been interpreted as an invitation. Do you know that scene where Harry Potter gives Doby a sock? Not to be insensitive but…that. Understanding these nuances is one of the small ways which help to better navigate murky social waters in order to understand the perception of others while protecting your own personal space. One last thing on ex-pats, Bahrain is technically one of the safest countries in the world but also has some of the highest numbers of human trafficking. Be aware of that. Do not engage in illicit activities and report suspected human trafficking cases to the appropriate personnel- that beautiful Russian girl at Wranglers does not actually want to have sex with you. If the pussy comes with a price, just no. I’ll continue to update this as I learn more…inshallah :)
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